Tuesday, April 1, 2014

New Policy

I have been reborn. Gone are the impure thoughts that used to taint my mind. Gone are the temptations of the flesh, thanks to that freak accident with the chainsaw at the nudist beach. Gone is any desire to indulge myself any further in this debauchery that is Japanese Pornography.

Thus, today marks the day we (and by that I mean "I"— it's my way or the highway, Cucumis) change course for the glorious ship that is this site, and devote ourselves to save your souls from eternal damnation. Our glorious overlords from the resplendent land of the Rising Sun had the right idea when they decided to censor this filth, but they did not go far enough. Thus it falls upon ourselves to deliver you this content the way God intended, as it's written in the Bible. Somewhere. I think. Possibly. Not that I'm going to check.

Enjoy this treat as a first sample of the way we'll be improving our releases going forward. Don't look at the flesh, enjoy the tale of a love blossoming amidst curious circumstances. Cast your gaze away from the intertwined bodies, and focus on the joyous event of conception. Seriously, stop looking at dem titties.


The translation for this was provided by Cucumis Sativus (who didn't know about our now-mandatory new policy, but I'm sure he'll approve... if he knows what's best for him), and edited— and improved— by somebodyelse.
In case you don't appreciate our work, I only have one thing to say.

4 comments:

  1. What the? I didnt sign up for this shiimphhuuu! Mnh?

    *whip snap*

    Mnghpuu!!!

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  2. I can fap to that

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  3. Awesome, absolutely awesome, I'm glad at least somebody's looking after my soul, I sure as hell can't be bothered to do it. xD

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  4. Heh, chainsaw at the nudist beach, lol. Don't treat Cucumis sativus too bad now.

    Was looking through my RSS reader for April Fool's jokes today, saw the title of this one and thought, nah, that's not one. I was wrong, lol

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