Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Christmas with a Harem... or With a Really Huge Orgy

Welcome to Tokoharusou COMPLETE! That makes two, YES TWO, tanks I got pulled in as a second (or in this case a forth, ewww) hand collaborator. For those of you have been following, you know the drill. Download links are over at Conan's domain and the gallery link is below. If you're somehow new to this book, expect lots of mindless sex with hot girls who simply begs for the D 27/7. There, that's your baptism to the world of Kisaragi Gunma's hentai.

Exhentai Gallery

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Girls are Stupid Sluts and Guys are Horny Assholes

As much as I enjoy Kisaragi Gunma, I can’t help but feel this is the prevailing message in most of his works. Sure it’s all innocent fun and games in hentai world, but there are times where I have to stop fapping and say, “ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!?” Cucumis Sativus here again to give another update for Welcome to Tokoharusou. In collaboration with Conan of 4dawgz once more, the second to last chapter of the book is now released for your viewing pleasure. For the uninitiated, it’s a semi sequel to a previous chapter which can be found here. I have to be honest, I’m not particularly sure how I'd feel about attending a school where it’s mandatory to have my dick sucked as a yearly physical.

Anyway, download links can be found over at Conan’s domain and the gallery link is below.
Exhentai Gallery

Just like before, this is probably my favorite panel in the chapter. Us men are so easy...

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Crazy Childhood Friend is Crazy

Hello again, Cucumis Sativus, the resident slave translator here. Just popping in to announce the release of another chapter of Welcome to Tokoharusou by Kisaragi Gunma, which I had the strange pleasure to work on with Conan from 4Dawgz. Our partnership came to be when I helped Somebodyelse with his Lovely Lover’s Love re-edit project, and I was in contact with Sir Conan for both PSD files and editing help. One thing lead to another and the next thing I know, I’m working on completing another book. Yay for working on more second hand goods! I’m living up to this group’s name rather well.

You can find download links over at 4dawgz and a link to the gallery below.
Exhentai Gallery

And just for some good humor, my favorite panel(s).

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

It's a second-hand thing

Thanksgiving is the most joyful of Holidays— a chance to pass some time with one's family (whether you actually want to spend time with said family or not, pretty often), trying your best to fend off a barrage of questions about your life by relatives you didn't even remember you had ("How are your grades?" "How long until you graduate?" "You're studying what?" "Are you still single at your age?" "Have you found a job?" "What kinda job is that?" "When are you going to get married?" and so on), while you gorge yourself on the delicious stuffed carcass of a giant bird (or some cardboard-tasting yet more humane vegan alternative, if you're so unlucky) and wash it all down with copious amounts of alcohol (preferably enough to get you through it, but not enough that you re-enact that scene from The Exorcist all over Grandma).

Good times.

Being the kind souls we are, we did what we do best to make this day a little more pleasant for you— we took somebody else's work , added a minor amount of spit and polish, and voilà! A special gift, just to take your mind off it all.

The original translation of the chapters as they appeared in the magazine scans was done by FUKE, and edited by Conan. Cucumis Sativus has taken care of the translation for all the new materials (pinups, cover, index, extra chapters and both bonus booklets), has revised the original translation using FUKE's notes (I have connections, you see, I can get my hands on stuff and things), and has also pulled double-duty by taking care of half of the editing. I did the rest of the edit and I claim most of the credit for the whole shebang for myself, because I'm just an asshole like that.

See ya!

Thursday, October 31, 2013

The Night of the Lively Dead

The spirit of Halloween fills the air— shoddily carved pumpkins on the porches (that will probably stay there until it's time swap them for plastic reindeer and Christmas crap), a million guys dressed as Heisenberg (they're goddamn right), slutty nurses/policewomen/devils as far as the eye can see, and with some luck even some kid going around the block bumming people for candy.
To celebrate the festivity, have at a little demon-themed full color story. Imagine Michael Jackson's "Thriller" playing in the background and you'll be all set. 

Translation is courtesy of our beloved new manservant, Cucumis Sativus— be sure to express your gratitude, it's a bit of a sad time of the year, with so many of his cousins horribly gored and left to rot on the streets... poor souls, he's a wreck— and to Shadkats for a bit of QC (I caen't spel gud mysself).

Have fun tit-or-treating! Or is is trick-or-tittin'?
...no? Pun too lame? Well, I admit it wasn't the breast but... oh, suck it (these guys sure did).

See ya!

Sunday, October 27, 2013

In the language of flowers, Quince means "HNNNG"

Today's release is a treat: a delicious new chapter of the "Floriography" series by Tooru Mizutani, detailing Hiroki and Rena's first time together. A bit light on the action, really, but a pretty nice read nonetheless. The book was chosen by Cucumis Sativus himself, also responsible for the translation— a round of applause for the man!

This is apparently only the first part of the story the author originally planned to write— though I have no idea whether the second part was actually released or not, as I can't find any raws for that. Oh, and about the title— marmelo is a Portuguese loanword adopted by the Japanese for the quince blossom. In floriography, this flower can symbolize playful temptation or enticement when included in an arrangement, which fits the content of the doujin perfectly.

See ya!

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Mary had a little discussion about race portrayals in porn

After the previous doujin by the same group me and FUKE released last January, here comes another chapter in the "Childhood Destruction" series by Turtle.Fish.Paint— and this also marks the first release of our newest addition to the family, as the translation has been provided by our resident slave unpaid intern homme à tout faire, translator and cucumber man AKA Cucumis Sativus! (I affectionately call him Gherkin. Or "You, boy, fetch me another bottle of wine before I whip you" from time to time.) A round of applause for the man!
Another wolf this time, with a creative reinterpretation of Grimm's "The Wolf and the Seven Young Kids". Goat meat looks tasty~

Yes, we got beaten to the punch by another translator. I'm not going to make a fuss about it, and given all the work we both put into this, we still decided to release it (and by the time the other translation was posted, I was 3/4 of the way in the edit, and the script was done, so it would have been a waste). Enjoy the spreads, at least!

Liked this? You can check another work of theirs we released in the past— and watch this space, because we might revisit them once again.

If you're curious about the title of the post, head past the break and read on.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Natsunokumo chapter 20

The fight between the mercenaries and the people of the Zoo is coming to a close with the match between Mitsuki and Gaur. The two seem to have some history, but as eager as Gaur is to settle the score, she seems to lose much of her bravado as the superiority of her opponent is made clear to her. Yet, as the people of the Zoo watch helplessly from the sidelines, Gaur might still have a trick up her sleeve to help her even out the odds.

This marks the end of the "Group Encounter" arc and start of the fifth volume— and we're finally past the halfway point of the series! Thanks for the translation to mako, without whom we wouldn't have ever gotten so far!

Friday, August 30, 2013

Obligatory Self Introduction

Hi… Uh… Cucumis sativus here, Second Hand Scan’s newest bitch member. As Somebodyelse has already mentioned, we met on Phantasy Star Online 2, so I’ll dispense with the origin story (of our fated romantic meeting as we vanquish the ferocious dragon within a volcanic hell). When it comes to the Japanese language, it doesn’t take long for the conversation to head towards anime, manga, and ultimately porn. After a few exchanges about what we like and what we’ve read, Somebodyelse mentioned he was, well… Somebodyelse of Second Hand Scan’s fame. Long story short, I asked if I could join his merry little one man group. I know some Japanese and I have studied translation theory before, so this would be a fun little gig to stick my hands in.

So why the name Cucumis sativus? Let’s just say it’s a nod to one of my first hentai experiences, a really hardcore CG set depicting a busty girl in a bunny suit getting gangbanged by a bunch of demonic vegetables (this was just one of many scenarios). And when I say demonic vegetables, I’m not talking about anthropomorphic looking veggies manhandling a girl. They were literally vegetables with demonic faces (and tiny looking arms) going to town with this girl’s body. T’was a strange yet beautifully erotic sight to behold.

Anyway, I’m still getting my bearings straight with the whole scanlating gig. Somebodyelse is showing me the ropes in both his script preferences and editing tricks. Hopefully, the two of us will start producing some nice quality works together, plus the occasional lone wolf projects I’ll attempt. Projects will range from both naughty and safe.

I hope you look forward to it. Please be gentle.

Monday, August 19, 2013

Befriending strangers for fun and profit

I've recently been playing a bit of Phantasy Star Online 2 (a free-to-play title currently only available in Japan), thanks to the fan-made English patch having progressed far enough to have made most of the game understandable to someone who can't read more than two or three moon squiggles total. While having my ass handed to me— repeatedly— by one of the game early bosses (fuck you, rock-burrowing flame-breathing dragon thing, you're an asshole and I hate your guts), I happened to team up with a guy who could actually read all the flavor text that's still left untranslated from the patch (by the way, there's nothing of importance). We got to talking, I asked where he learned his Japanese, and chatted a while.

I got myself a new translator!

Soon-ish I'll have him introduce himself on here (after I give him access to the blog... what's the harm in giving random internet people unfettered access to your stuff, right?), and we'll detail some of the projects we'll be working on in the near future (try to take a guess? Not that you'll win anything, but I've left a hint).

Teepo header because a) it's awesome, and b) the English edition of the day-one didn't come with the steelbook. The only reason I preordered (instead of doing the sane thing and waiting for the price to drop) was to get the that goddamn Teepo-tastic case, and I didn't know it. I'm grieving.

(PS: Natsunokumo is still on, and this will have nothing to do with that.)

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Hole in love

After Lord only know how long, here I am, back from the dead, with some sweet, weird doujin for all y'all bunch of pervs. Salaryman Guy finds out that there's a hole in the wall that separates his apartment from his neighbor's. Will he call the landlord and complain about it? Will he put up a shelf in front of it and forget about it all? Or will he take the chance to peep on the hot lady next door's "private time"? Take a guess.

Thanks for TheKa from TapTapTrans for the translation, and all the folks over on the E-Hentai forums (Slobber, binglo, Boggyb, jantch, maipantsu, takeshi.dono) for their support!

Part of the reason it took me so long to release this was the time required to remove all the floating text (a metric fuckton of time, to be precise). The fact that my computer decided to blue screen more than two dozen times in the last month after installing Windows 8 didn't help, either. I'm having flashbacks of Win ME.

Enjoy and see ya soon!

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Busy, busy...

I'm not dead, though I haven't had much chance to work on anything to post on here. Expect something soon-ish, provided I can get my fonts to show up correctly on Windows 8.

Pro-tip: don't upgrade to Windows 8. Just don't.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

That's why we can't have nice things

FUKE's closing up shop, as he explains in detail over on his own blog here. Dude's one of the best translators I had the chance to work with, and it's a damn real shame he's calling it quits.
Expect grossly reduced output from me in the future (Natsunokumo is still on its own schedule).

This is me right now:

Friday, May 31, 2013

It's the summer of the spider (Natsunokumo chp 19)

It's been a long time coming, but here it is— chapter 19 of Rokuro Shinofusa's "Natsunokumo", bringing the volume 4 to a close. It's finally time for Gaur to step into the ring and square off with the merc that harassed her friend, but it seems she'll have to face a different opponent— a far more troublesome one.

As this chapter rounds up the fourth volume, here's the collected archive for your convenience.

This would not have been possible without mako's help— a round of applause to the man! He did a wonderful job on the translation and totally deserves it!
We're both planning on continuing with the series, but it'll take some time. Still, slow and steady and all that jazz.

See ya!

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Sensei, I'm going commando 3

Hello folks! Today's release is the third chapter of the "Sensei to, ikenai koto" series - big thanks to largo from Life4Kaoru for the translation!
Without a change of undies after swimming class, our heroine will have to improvise. Will her favorite teacher find her out? Will it lead to sex? (Do you really need to ask?)

See ya soon!

Saturday, May 25, 2013

That was pretty weird.

Do you remember that one doujin me and FUKE released some time ago, starring Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf? Well, we both found out that we enjoy this particular circle's work quite a bit. SO! Another release from Karei and Turtle.Fish.Paint, but this time no fairy tales— it's a doujin about a Facebook game I know absolutely nothing about.

You know what was the strangest thing for me in this? The fact that the demon-dog was called Rob. Not the tentacles, not the sex-serker, not the robot with and electric drilldo in his hand, and neither the buxom double-dicked teacher, but the fact that someone would call a dog (or dog-ish thing) "Rob".
Hentai has broken me (-_-;).

See ya!

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Teaching there is a sweet, sweet gig (50th release special)

Hello folks! Today's special - we've reached 50 releases and 20k page views! And what better way to celebrate than to release a whole tank? I'm talking about volume 2 of Ahiru Okanu's "Otome Private Tutoring School"! Volume 2 picks right were things were left off in the first book, and it seems that Yakumo-sensei will finally get to be with Matsuri... or will he?

If you feel like you're lost and don't know what's going on, then read up on the first volume!

Both volumes are EHCove projects; for the first volume (I had nothing to do with it) the translation has been provided by whatisit and the editing by ls and galdric, while the second volume was translated again by watsit and edited by yours truly. The whole project was sponsored by ls - big props to the man!
(Also, even though you might not tell from the covers, those aren't the kind of comics you should be caught reading by your mother/boss/significant other... unless you wanna have a whole lotta explaining to do.)

That's all for today, but there's still more to come in the weeks ahead... Look forward to it!

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

We're not late, we're just really, really early

Hello folks! Thanks again to the sweat and toil (and whatever other bodily fluids might have been involved - I won't judge, though I don't wanna know either) of our beloved FUKE, pulling again double-duty as both scanner and translator, and the no less important contribution of Shadkats (money makes the world go round, or at least propels Chinese porn cartoons from Glorious Nippon to 'Murica), I can present this here lovely Valentine's Day-themed doujin from Musha Sabu!

I don't know why, but I couldn't help but think about Zangief's piledriver while editing this. It kinda killed it for me, but at least I got a chuckle out of it. I hope you're not plagued by visions of the famous Russian bear-wrestler as I was - unless you're into that, then knock yourselves out.

See ya!

Friday, April 26, 2013

Sensei, that's statutory rape 2

In the world of Porn Cartoons, there are no laws against teachers having their way with their pupils, it seems... and when there are, nobody seems to give a rat's ass about them! Bless those irresponsible fools.

Thanks to Von of Life4Kaoru, today's release is a vanilla, extracurricular lesson in the teacher's room after school.

As the number on the cover suggests, this is the second chapter in this saga of rule violations and bedickment —you can find the first chapter here, and the third... well, maybe it's coming soon-ish?

See ya!

Thursday, April 18, 2013

I think I might have developed a new fetish

Ain't dead yet, folks! Just been too lazy to put enough work into editing - but I'll try my best to get back on track during the following weeks. There's more than a couple things coming out in the near future, so stay tuned.

First thing off the list, thanks to the valiant efforts of FUKE (who translated and scanned the book) and Shadkats (who put the moolah to actually buy the book), a lovely doujin from Musha Sabu - and it's all about the legs.

I'm more of an ass guy myself, but I must admit that this book tickled my fancy quite a bit. Is FUKE secretly trying to shape my tastes? Will he convince me to work on something full of tentacle and rapey bits next? (No, no he won't. I'm sure. Kinda. I think.)

As the tags state, and as the cover confirms if you had any doubts, this is NSFW: try an approach similar to that of the guy in the book and you may indeed find some lovely legs near your crotch - most probably trying to punt your ball sack though.

See ya soon!

Sunday, March 31, 2013

I envy this man, really

Masked ninja, blonde bombshell, happy sexy times. Get on over to Life4Kaoru's blog and download this right away!

Short description 'cause I'm on vacation. That's dedication, folks! Also kinda sad.

Until next time!

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Do you like horny bunnies?

No? You don't?
What the hell is wrong with you? I mean, just have a look at this wonderful, Easter-appropriate Macross doujin by Apricot featuring a hot-as-hell Sheryl gettin' all frisky with Alto, translated once again by FUKE. C'mon, do it.

See? Just as I told ya' - hot as hell. I mean, if you don't find it appealing, then sure, you're free to be wrong.

Have an happy Easter folk, and enjoy spending time with your loved ones (whether they're dressed as bunnies or not)!

Monday, March 18, 2013

I like short shorts

Hello folks! Today's release is a very quick one - a short, short Resident Evil doujin featuring Claire (in her short shorts) getting busy. It's less than half a dozen pages, but if you want something packing a bit more oomph, then you can check out its "sister" release, translated, as this one was, by FUKE but edited by Conan and featuring Mai from King of Fighters.

Don't be fooled by the abundant clothing on display on the cover, as she doesn't keep it on long, if at all, so I'd advise against getting caught reading this in a situation where it'd be considered inappropriate - be it while you're at work, you have family over, or if your home is being overrun by a bajillion hungry zombies.

See ya!

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Gordon Freeman was here

Oh, Gensokyo, what a magnificent place it is! Full of weirdoes, cannibals, and terrible, terrible puns. I bet I'd fit right in! But unfortunately, I'm not a fictional girl born of the mind of a drunk genius (though I can imagine copious amount of alcohol being involved in my conception too), so I'll have to observe their shenanigans through the many doujins that flood Japan, like the pervert voyeur that I am.

Doujin like this one! A 4-koma split in two parts, drawn by different authors, with a first half chock-full of the aforementioned terrible puns, and the second half depicting the most metal dentist who ever lived.

This release was made possible thanks to the initial translation of the many danbooru fairies (original pool here), and to the ever-wonderful FUKE, who put up with a lot of nagging on my part lately. Thanks!

Expect some more Touhous (yay!), some more work safe stuff (double yay!), and something else from Imizu too (triple yay!) in the future.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Of parallel universes and little sisters

Another chapter from Tsuzuri's "Little Strange Lovers", again translated by Archefromaussie of the Life4Kaoru team! Crossing the borders between dimensions, "Kaname" meets her other self - and their brother gets a double-dose of cute little sisters wanting to jump his bones, in both "shy and bespectacled" and "aggressive goth-loli" flavors. So, typical hentai plot, I'd say.

If you liked this, you may want to check the other chapter from this book I worked on some time ago here.

There's a lot more stuff coming out in the coming weeks - non-adult too! I know, I can't believe it myself.

See ya!

Saturday, March 2, 2013


Thanks to the donations of Shadkats and to FUKE's wonderful efforts, today's release is a pretty hot Bakemonogatari doujini written and illustrated by Zucchini (that same author whose stuff I worked on not too long ago - the whole volume is being translated by FUKE and being edited by his groupies superfriends ho's us associate editors). Shinobu is hungry, but it's not donuts that she's craving this time - so Arararararagi's will have to do his part. Lucky bastard.

Remember: be careful when play biting below the equator, take all the adequate precautions (like garlic and a couple crucifixes) and drink plenty of fluids - maybe not that much as shown here though.

Also, on a completely unrelated note: I've just discovered that Season 4 of Archer is on. Expect further reduction in output until I catch up with the episodes.

Until next time!

Sunday, February 24, 2013

*Insert Inception/Xzibit joke here*

Today's release, coming thanks to the ever prolific Fuke, is a pretty darn nice (albeit a bit short) SAO doujin from Warabino Matsuri. While Kirito and Asuna get busy in the game, his sister/cousin/whatever the hell she is takes care of the needs of his comatose-yet-oddly-lively body. This is the bajillionth release involving sleeping/unconscious people! Yet another thing I can't quite get.

Usual, useless warning applies: NSFW, pouncing on a sleeping/comatose person is considered rape, and actual MMOs don't have anything as interesting as that - though you might end up a vegetable all the same.

See ya next time!

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Aliens need love, too

And here we go! It took me quite a while, but here is a short, full color Ano Natsu doujin, thanks to the efforts of Von of Life4Kaoru! There's really no need for a description - the thing's so short it'll take you less time to read it yourself than to read my description.

Usual warning applies: NSFW, lock your goddamn door when you're getting busy, and be thankful that this alien is not one of the creepy, gray ones. (Now imagine a Roswell-styled alien instead of Ichika there.)

Bye folks!

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Lure of the Tanuki Temptress

Welcome folks! Today's release is a Touhou doujin, courtesy of Tsurupettan and Fuke, about a Tanuki doing typical Tanuki stuff, like enjoying a drink while moon gazing, tricking humans, magically sprouting an extra appendage - y'know, nothing outside the usual, no sir.

Don't let the fact that the last release was work-safe fool you, even though tags and cover should be enough to clue you in, and heed the usual warning: NSFW, Tanuki are tricksters par excellence, and maybe some Preparation H may help you if you ever get "stuck" in a similar situation (HAW HAW HAW).

There should be only one or two things left coming out in February, and then we'll see each other in March with a veritable deluge of content (hopefully).


Thursday, February 7, 2013

Lautrec is a tsundere

Rejoice, people, it's a work-safe doujin! And a Dark Souls one to boot! Thanks to the translation of ArcherFromAussie from Life4Kaoru you'll get to enjoy this here tale of slack thieves, blue neets and tsundere, shotel-toting murderers. No, really, he has a good heart deep down!

As I've said previously, expect reduced output until March. I have a bazillion of things I should release, but no time to work on them.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

It's spelled "fait accompli"

Aaaaaand I'm back! ...Kinda. I've freed up some and will be getting some things I've held up for far too long out of the door, but expect reduced output until at least the end of February.

Today's release, courtesy of the ever wonderful efforts of Fuke, is chapter 6 of Zucchini's "Soukan Manual", starring the lovely Misaki! What's the poor Shuu got to do when he finds her in front of his apartment just as he's getting back from work? (This is a rhetorical question, we all know the answer already.)

Be sure to check Fuke's blog to get the other chapters, edited by Conan, Elia and Anonymous!
(I have to admit, Zucchini draws some wicked girls-in-shirts.)

And as usual, this is NSFW: don't get caught with your pants down by your childhood friend reading this, "safe days" ain't safe at all, and a real man always takes responsibility.

See ya!

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

That's not how I remember the story...

Once upon a time, there lived a bright young girl in a small village near a forest. While on an errand in the woods, luck (or lack thereof) had it that she met a young, fearsome wolf.
Poor, poor wolf.

Stop animal cruelty!

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

A taste of things to come (to?)

This is an inexhaustive, unorganized sample of things I've worked but haven't released so far, things I'm currently working and will be done with shortly, or things that I may or may not plan to do at some point in time between now and the heath death of the universe. If you recognize anything in it- good job, you win a cookie! You'll have to pay shipping and handling yourself though.

There are at least two completed-but-stuck-in-limbo releases missing, and things in there that I don't quite know if, or how, I'll ever manage- so this is by no means a schedule or anything.

(There's even some Work-safe stuff in there! Fantastic. Still no Natsunokumo though, and that sucks.)
One of the things in there should be ready sooner later than later. Stay tuned!

Saturday, January 5, 2013

The kissing demon- cramming version

Thanks to the efforts of Von of Life4Kaoru I bring you Mutsutake's latest one-shot, "Meguridokoro"! Teenage boy asks his friend to help cram for the midterms, but falls asleep halfway through. And what do you do in Japan when your crush falls asleep right next to you? You slobber all over their face, of course!
... and then you get to the porking.

For once it seems the cover doesn't look overly explicit, but expect naughty bits in full view inside- refrain from reading this in front of your boss/coworkers/loved ones/classmates/anyone, really, or you'll have a lot of explaining to do.
(Seriously, what's with this sleeping fetish? I don't get it. Still, Mutsutake!)