Huge tracts of land

I can only imagine the backpain that carrying around one third of your body mass dangling from your chest would cause. And how much the bras would cost— would they price them by the square foot? Anyways, today's story is a sweet lovey-dovey tale of a couple of idiots who've been living together for two years and have still not gotten to it.

Wat. Japan, wat.

Download from MEGA

Read online on E-Hentai

Our dear Cucumis Sativus has been so kind to keep both hands above the desk long enough to type down the translation, while I oh-so-sloppily lathered his carefully chosen words all over the pages. Also, considering that I even failed to spell the goddamn title right on the first try, I imagine there might be some typos sneaked in by me in there. I no read gud.

See ya!

Edit: thanks to an anonymous commenter for pointing out two typos on pages 6 and 16, links to the gallery and MEGA download are fixed. In my defense, I did say there might have been some in the thing— and there were! It means I was right.

Dumb as a sack of potatoes, but right.

"You sunk my battleship"

I think we might be going for a record or something, but today's release is yet another work from our beloved Hirame— and sort of a sequel to a work we previously shared with you all, to booth! Battlefield Princess and Airfield Princess have business with Wo-Class to discuss, so they ask Seaport Princess to watch over little Isolated Island Demon for them. I never imagined I'd write something like that before, much less that I'd actually understand what that means. I blame Cucumis Sativus for translating all this stuff and giving me a chance to read the words instead of just staring at cartoon titties and making the dialogue up in my head.

Read online on Exhentai

Download from MEGA

Also, we reached 100k total pageviews! That's a lot of perverts! Or maybe not that many, considering we've been around a while... I dunno. With this two shorter doujins done, it's back to the fapcave the not-officially-announced "bigger project", so stay tuned.
(I might very well be sidetracked and do something completely different in the meantime, I have a pretty short attention span, but do do continue visiting the site and inflate my ego~♥.)

It's not delivery, it's diPorno

Welcome again to the official "Hirame~♥~Love" fanclub, where everything is about this single author all the time, every time! Our quest to provide you pretty much everything of theirs we can get our hands on continues today with our newest release, a story straight of of "Porn-plots 101". Pizza delivery comes in, and not much pizza is actually consumed. Such a waste.

Read Online on E-hentai

Download from MEGA

The translation was again brought to you by our beloved Cucumis Sativus (he got better after last time's Elf, but he's still not fully recovered), and with the help of our newest recruit for the edits, Bubblemilktea! So frothy. It's all thanks to him you can actually read this stuff, 'cause the scans were a bit of a mess.
Me? I lecture people on proper pizza making, mostly, and do these writeups.

We've ran out of Hirame stuff, so unless something new comes out, like, right now, the next release will be hopefully something different! Yay!

As an aside, I sure hope I don't get sued for the title (if you don't hear from me again, I've gone down doing what I love— horrible puns).

Will we ever release something from another author?

Apparently not! Or at least, not anytime soon. And you know what? I'm fine with it!

Today's release is YET ANOTHER doujin by Hirame/Turtle.Fish.Paint, this time about the PS3/Vita beat 'em up Dragon's Crown. The disgruntled male cast tries to get back to the heroines for always stealing the spotlight and leaving them with naught to do on their adventures, but their "clever" plan backfires.

Download from MEGA

Read online on E-hentai

Translation was provided, as per usual, by our beloved Cucumis Sativus, which was reduced to a panting and wheezing mess while working on the Elf/tentacles pages. The bonus milk girl at the end almost gave the poor bastard an heart attack after that. I took care of the edit, and as for some weird reason, as soon as I saw the Amazon on the cover, I had this stuck in my head. YES, AMAZONESS!

Will the next release be a C-C-Combo Breaker? Who knows! Maybe it will, maybe it won't.

.... Wait, I know. And I have a strange craving for pizza.

See ya!

I'm a strong, independent ship who don't need no admiral

Never be said that Chinese Cartoon Porn (from now on, we'll refer to it as "CCP"*) it's just a bunch of smut, or that it doesn't carry a positive message.
"Is the message here that you shouldn't be put down by a person who doesn't truly appreciate you, but rather take charge and better value yourself?", you might ask.
Nope. It's tentacles.
It's always tentacles.

Download from MEGA

Read online on E-hentai

Praise the good Cucumis Sativus for translating another chapter in the ongoing gospel of the Holy Wriggly Appendage— he's a devout follower, and has been for ages. Tentacles are good, tentacles are love, tentacles are the slimy salvation that will fill you up with joy— forever!
Kinda literally.

There should still be some more Hirame goodness to come soon, so stay tuned!

*We'll never refer to it again like that.

Sexbots and butter wolves

Welcome once again to the official HQ of "Hirame Sensei ~Love♥Love~ Official Fan Club"! (it seems we've been kinda insisting on this author lately, and I'm perfectly fine with it.) Today's release is another chapter of the UnLove series, two of which we have previously shared with y'all not so long ago. It's a two parter, with Florence and Ada taking the scene on the first half (with the assistance of some sort of marital-aid bot), and Palmo on the second half getting cozy with her wolf buddy, obviously involving some whipped cream. Did you think I would just lie on the post title? Pshaw.

Read Online on Exhentai

Download from MEGA

Enjoy responsibly, and remember that sexing robots can result in grievous injuries to your naughty bits in case of malfunctions or erratic behavior.

Speak softly and carry a big stick

It has come to my attention that a dangerous individual has hijacked my account and posed as myself recently. I want to declare that I disavow the message posted by my evil twin my drunken self me trying to be funny this "unknown individual" in its entirety.

It is in my full interest to provide y'all with the finest quality entertainment, be it work-safe productions (as far as "reading comics" can be safe for work), or the smuttiest of the smut that ever appeared on the planet, without any additional modifications on our part. Unless we feel like it. Or it strikes our fancy. But mostly not.

Now, feel free to enjoy the tale of the Kawaguchi Household, and the blossoming love between the young lady and the kid. No, not that kind of kid— that was another story.

Read online on Exhentai

Download from MEGA

See ya!

THUNDERSLUTS ARE GO!!

Put on the Panty & Stockings soundtrack (I'd suggest either Pantscada or Schranz Chase, but Theme for Scanty and Kneesocks will fit just fine), make yourselves comfortable (leather mask? chains? I won't judge) and enjoy this heartwarming tale of siblings love by Hattory Mitsuka. Angels or demons, all sisters should care for each other— it's the ruuuuuuuule.

Read Online on E-Hentai

Download from MEGA

This doujin has been brought to you by our own beloved #1 Thunderslut (the manliest slut), Cucumis Sativus, who could have been busy ending world hunger or curing cancer, but instead decided to translate porn for you.

Priorities! We've got them straight.

See ya!

Cleanliness is next to godliness

Today we're proud to present you a short-short story by Maimu-Maimu (artist we've already featured here once in the past) published in 2011 in a special magazine issue released to raise money for the victims of the quake in Japan. There's not really much to describe, honestly...

Download from MEGA

Download from Mediafire

Gallery on E-Hentai

Being just two pages, our beloved Cucumis Sativus accepted to slot it into his queue with little to no prior warning. The downside is that the poor soul is now left with a serious Onee-san deficiency... poor buddy.

See ya!

A catboy is fine too

What better way to start off the new year than to kick back, relax, and enjoy some fine porn?

...probably a million other ways, but this is the kinda stuff we do 'round here, so this is what y'all get: another chapter of the weird and crazy stories inspired by Unlight, drawn by Karei and Turtle.Fish.Paint!

Download from Mediafire

Read online on Exhentai

A gentle pervert wishing to remain anonymous has provided us the scans (I know who you are now, and you can expect to be blackmailed if you want to stay anonymous :3). Our in-house homme à tout faire Cucumis Sativus has provided us a brilliant translation (not as if anyone reads porn, it's all about looking at dem naughty pictures), while I just sat on this for a month before deciding to actually edit it. Hey, I eventually did do it! That's gotta count for something.

See ya!

Christmas with a Harem... or With a Really Huge Orgy

Welcome to Tokoharusou COMPLETE! That makes two, YES TWO, tanks I got pulled in as a second (or in this case a forth, ewww) hand collaborator. For those of you have been following, you know the drill. Download links are over at Conan's domain and the gallery link is below. If you're somehow new to this book, expect lots of mindless sex with hot girls who simply begs for the D 27/7. There, that's your baptism to the world of Kisaragi Gunma's hentai.

Exhentai Gallery

Crazy Childhood Friend is Crazy

Hello again, Cucumis Sativus, the resident slave translator here. Just popping in to announce the release of another chapter of Welcome to Tokoharusou by Kisaragi Gunma, which I had the strange pleasure to work on with Conan from 4Dawgz. Our partnership came to be when I helped Somebodyelse with his Lovely Lover’s Love re-edit project, and I was in contact with Sir Conan for both PSD files and editing help. One thing lead to another and the next thing I know, I’m working on completing another book. Yay for working on more second hand goods! I’m living up to this group’s name rather well.

You can find download links over at 4dawgz and a link to the gallery below.
Exhentai Gallery
And just for some good humor, my favorite panel(s).

It's a second-hand thing

Thanksgiving is the most joyful of Holidays— a chance to pass some time with one's family (whether you actually want to spend time with said family or not, pretty often), trying your best to fend off a barrage of questions about your life by relatives you didn't even remember you had ("How are your grades?" "How long until you graduate?" "You're studying what?" "Are you still single at your age?" "Have you found a job?" "What kinda job is that?" "When are you going to get married?" and so on), while you gorge yourself on the delicious stuffed carcass of a giant bird (or some cardboard-tasting yet more humane vegan alternative, if you're so unlucky) and wash it all down with copious amounts of alcohol (preferably enough to get you through it, but not enough that you re-enact that scene from The Exorcist all over Grandma).

Good times.

Being the kind souls we are, we did what we do best to make this day a little more pleasant for you— we took somebody else's work , added a minor amount of spit and polish, and voilà! A special gift, just to take your mind off it all.

Read online on Exhentai

Download from MEGA

Download from Mediafire

The original translation of the chapters as they appeared in the magazine scans was done by FUKE, and edited by Conan. Cucumis Sativus has taken care of the translation for all the new materials (pinups, cover, index, extra chapters and both bonus booklets), has revised the original translation using FUKE's notes (I have connections, you see, I can get my hands on stuff and things), and has also pulled double-duty by taking care of half of the editing. I did the rest of the edit and I claim most of the credit for the whole shebang for myself, because I'm just an asshole like that.

See ya!

The Night of the Lively Dead

The spirit of Halloween fills the air— shoddily carved pumpkins on the porches (that will probably stay there until it's time swap them for plastic reindeer and Christmas crap), a million guys dressed as Heisenberg (they're goddamn right), slutty nurses/policewomen/devils as far as the eye can see, and with some luck even some kid going around the block bumming people for candy.
To celebrate the festivity, have at a little demon-themed full color story. Imagine Michael Jackson's "Thriller" playing in the background and you'll be all set. 

Download from Mediafire (fixed) 

Read on E-Hentai

Translation is courtesy of our beloved new manservant, Cucumis Sativus— be sure to express your gratitude, it's a bit of a sad time of the year, with so many of his cousins horribly gored and left to rot on the streets... poor souls, he's a wreck— and to Shadkats for a bit of QC (I caen't spel gud mysself).

Have fun tit-or-treating! Or is is trick-or-tittin'?
...
...no? Pun too lame? Well, I admit it wasn't the breast but... oh, suck it (these guys sure did).

See ya!

In the language of flowers, Quince means "HNNNG"

Today's release is a treat: a delicious new chapter of the "Floriography" series by Tooru Mizutani, detailing Hiroki and Rena's first time together. A bit light on the action, really, but a pretty nice read nonetheless. The book was chosen by Cucumis Sativus himself, also responsible for the translation— a round of applause for the man!

Download from Mediafire

Read online on E-Hentai

This is apparently only the first part of the story the author originally planned to write— though I have no idea whether the second part was actually released or not, as I can't find any raws for that. Oh, and about the title— marmelo is a Portuguese loanword adopted by the Japanese for the quince blossom. In floriography, this flower can symbolize playful temptation or enticement when included in an arrangement, which fits the content of the doujin perfectly.

See ya!

Mary had a little discussion about race portrayals in porn

After the previous doujin by the same group me and FUKE released last January, here comes another chapter in the "Childhood Destruction" series by Turtle.Fish.Paint— and this also marks the first release of our newest addition to the family, as the translation has been provided by our resident slave unpaid intern homme à tout faire, translator and cucumber man AKA Cucumis Sativus! (I affectionately call him Gherkin. Or "You, boy, fetch me another bottle of wine before I whip you" from time to time.) A round of applause for the man!
Another wolf this time, with a creative reinterpretation of Grimm's "The Wolf and the Seven Young Kids". Goat meat looks tasty~

Download from Mediafire

Read online on Exhentai

Yes, we got beaten to the punch by another translator. I'm not going to make a fuss about it, and given all the work we both put into this, we still decided to release it (and by the time the other translation was posted, I was 3/4 of the way in the edit, and the script was done, so it would have been a waste). Enjoy the spreads, at least!

Liked this? You can check another work of theirs we released in the past— and watch this space, because we might revisit them once again.

If you're curious about the title of the post, head past the break and read on.

Natsunokumo chapter 20

The fight between the mercenaries and the people of the Zoo is coming to a close with the match between Mitsuki and Gaur. The two seem to have some history, but as eager as Gaur is to settle the score, she seems to lose much of her bravado as the superiority of her opponent is made clear to her. Yet, as the people of the Zoo watch helplessly from the sidelines, Gaur might still have a trick up her sleeve to help her even out the odds.

Read online on Batoto

Download from Mediafire

This marks the end of the "Group Encounter" arc and start of the fifth volume— and we're finally past the halfway point of the series! Thanks for the translation to mako, without whom we wouldn't have ever gotten so far!

Obligatory Self Introduction

Hi… Uh… Cucumis sativus here, Second Hand Scan’s newest bitch member. As Somebodyelse has already mentioned, we met on Phantasy Star Online 2, so I’ll dispense with the origin story (of our fated romantic meeting as we vanquish the ferocious dragon within a volcanic hell). When it comes to the Japanese language, it doesn’t take long for the conversation to head towards anime, manga, and ultimately porn. After a few exchanges about what we like and what we’ve read, Somebodyelse mentioned he was, well… Somebodyelse of Second Hand Scan’s fame. Long story short, I asked if I could join his merry little one man group. I know some Japanese and I have studied translation theory before, so this would be a fun little gig to stick my hands in.

So why the name Cucumis sativus? Let’s just say it’s a nod to one of my first hentai experiences, a really hardcore CG set depicting a busty girl in a bunny suit getting gangbanged by a bunch of demonic vegetables (this was just one of many scenarios). And when I say demonic vegetables, I’m not talking about anthropomorphic looking veggies manhandling a girl. They were literally vegetables with demonic faces (and tiny looking arms) going to town with this girl’s body. T’was a strange yet beautifully erotic sight to behold.

Anyway, I’m still getting my bearings straight with the whole scanlating gig. Somebodyelse is showing me the ropes in both his script preferences and editing tricks. Hopefully, the two of us will start producing some nice quality works together, plus the occasional lone wolf projects I’ll attempt. Projects will range from both naughty and safe.

I hope you look forward to it. Please be gentle.

Befriending strangers for fun and profit

I've recently been playing a bit of Phantasy Star Online 2 (a free-to-play title currently only available in Japan), thanks to the fan-made English patch having progressed far enough to have made most of the game understandable to someone who can't read more than two or three moon squiggles total. While having my ass handed to me— repeatedly— by one of the game early bosses (fuck you, rock-burrowing flame-breathing dragon thing, you're an asshole and I hate your guts), I happened to team up with a guy who could actually read all the flavor text that's still left untranslated from the patch (by the way, there's nothing of importance). We got to talking, I asked where he learned his Japanese, and chatted a while.

I got myself a new translator!

Soon-ish I'll have him introduce himself on here (after I give him access to the blog... what's the harm in giving random internet people unfettered access to your stuff, right?), and we'll detail some of the projects we'll be working on in the near future (try to take a guess? Not that you'll win anything, but I've left a hint).

Teepo header because a) it's awesome, and b) the English edition of the day-one didn't come with the steelbook. The only reason I preordered (instead of doing the sane thing and waiting for the price to drop) was to get the that goddamn Teepo-tastic case, and I didn't know it. I'm grieving.

(PS: Natsunokumo is still on, and this will have nothing to do with that.)

Hole in love

After Lord only know how long, here I am, back from the dead, with some sweet, weird doujin for all y'all bunch of pervs. Salaryman Guy finds out that there's a hole in the wall that separates his apartment from his neighbor's. Will he call the landlord and complain about it? Will he put up a shelf in front of it and forget about it all? Or will he take the chance to peep on the hot lady next door's "private time"? Take a guess.

Download from Mediafire

Read online on e-hentai

Thanks for TheKa from TapTapTrans for the translation, and all the folks over on the E-Hentai forums (Slobber, binglo, Boggyb, jantch, maipantsu, takeshi.dono) for their support!

Part of the reason it took me so long to release this was the time required to remove all the floating text (a metric fuckton of time, to be precise). The fact that my computer decided to blue screen more than two dozen times in the last month after installing Windows 8 didn't help, either. I'm having flashbacks of Win ME.

Enjoy and see ya soon!